Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
