Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
