I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
