he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
