is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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