i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You can't motorboat a personality
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
