Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
