i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
