I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
