Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
