Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
