Where is the hickey?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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