there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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