So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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