You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
