Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
