I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
