my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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