I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
