Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
