im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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