Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
