I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
