At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
