If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
