Nicole vs. Life
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
