she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
