1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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