he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
