Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
