I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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