Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
