There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
