Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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