Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
