Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
