it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
