Having a random hookup so left but love u
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
