u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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