I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
