i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
