Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
