found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
