Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
