Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
