Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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