She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
