New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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