weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
