Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
