all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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