I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
