can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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